Tuesday, January 27, 2009

isn't that just lovely?

this morning i awoke to this e-mail...

I need to talk with you about an FYI situation. Do you have a few minutes today, tomorrow, or Friday, in which we could meet?
Thanks, Jackie. I hope you’re having a good semester!

my first thought was "crap, what did i do!" i realize that there is no mention about her being displeased with me, that i did something wrong or that it was even a bad "situation" to start with but that response says a lot about who i am. "we need to talk" is one of the meanest things you can say to me. "i need to talk to you" i almost just as bad. i will panic, i will think back over everything that has happened within the past year to figure out what horrible and terrible thing i have done that has taken you to such drastic proportions as to say "we need to talk". most times i will also never tell you that i did this prior to our engagement.

am i paranoid? yes. weird? you bet. but we all have our quirks, so i hope you'll love me just the same.

anyways i e-mailed nancy back and set up an appointment for 2:30 and began the thinking/panic process... i couldn't find anything. nancy always praised me for my wonderful work and dedication as a fyi leader and the program ended over three months ago.

2:30 came and i went to her office and our conversation went a little like this...

nancy: "i needed to apologize to you in person"

jackie: what is she talking about... "okay."

nancy: "the other day i was on the phone with little shit's mom, his older sister is roommates with my daughter and we were talking about housing payments for next school year"

jackie: oh great, we're talking about "it" again..."oh, okay..."

nancy: "anyways, as we were talking she said 'thank you for everything you did so that my son, little shit, could pass fyi. did you know that he didn't even pass college study methods?"

jackie: pass fyi? of course nancy corrected her, told her that he did not pass because he did not come...couldn't pass college study methods? shocker!

nancy:"...so i couldn't correct her on the phone. but i called academic records and they said that i did submit a passing grade for little shit. i am not going to correct it now, but i just wanted to say that i was sorry in person. i know you must be upset about this."

jackie: so let me get this right, you didn't correct momma shit? you made the mistake and you're not going to fix it, right...you hope i'm not upset? upset? that doesn't even begin to describe it! this kid drove me crazy all semester. he was rude and late all the time, and that's when he bothered to come at all! he did not participate, he did not do what was required and he did not pass and now he gets away with it all because you made a mistake and pressed 'p' instead of 'f' on a keyboard!? no, i'm not at all upset about this..."well nancy, whatever you feel is the appropreate action in this situation..."

nancy: "jackie, i'm sorry. you know next year fyi won't even count for credit anymore."

jackie:"well, isn't that fortunate for him"


Jill said...

Can I slap her for you?

twenty something said...

please and thank you!

The Mister said...

Even if he is successful at something he's still going to be completely miserable for the rest of his life.

Pamela said...

fuckers never win.
just remember that.

i know there's not a lot of love there, and you can totally delete me for using the effer word, but really.

and fucker's mother? she knows. that's why she thanked good ol' Nancy, who doesn't mind her p's and f's.