the little shit that could.

i work with freshman; it is one of the 3 jobs-18 credits-7 credits of incompletes-internship-social life things that i manage. i am an fyi leader which means they pay us the equivalent of slave labor to baby-sit the freshman class for the first week they are here and every tuesday and thursday from 11-11:45. We are to "teach" them time management (which is pretty funny because most of us can't do that ourselves), the importance of a good relationship with profs, take them on a baby service day ect.

Now, before i continue i think that i should take the time to say i really do like freshmen. it's bitter sweet to watch them arrive and say goodbye to their parentals, to take them and watch them as they form social groups, be supportive when they feel they cannot make it through college, help them find good on-campus jobs…ect. needless to say, at the end of the day it makes one feel pretty good about ones self. i have always been a supporter of the fyi program, why it was even in this very program that i met my first college best stephaine, and then became closer with my second college best emma. however, when i came to school this year with excited hopes for teaching and leading and friendship building i had no idea that i was about to meet....the little shit that could.

fyi is not hard. it is a one credit pass-fail class. this is what is required of you to pass. come to 2/3 of the lectures prepared. come to the big group lecture and sit in your assigned seat. show up and participate in service day. if you cannot, for any reason, participate in service day you must write a two page paper and hand it in on time. you must write a 500 word essay on something you believe and turn it in by the end of fyi, you may submit this by e-mail. that’s it. now keep in mind Houghton College catalogue states that in-order to graduate one must “…complete at least one major. Candidates for BA or BS degree must complete 124 semester hours plus one hour of First-Year Introductions (FYI) required of all-first year students” (emphasis added). so even if one does not like FYI, just go and do it. it is only 40 minutes,it's requried for graduation, it is not hard, fyi leaders are very nice (and pretty). they most likely bring homemade baked goodies (or at least little shit’s did)... alas this was all too hard for little shit. but little shit was smart. he read the syllabus. where it states that one must only obtain 65% of the points available in order to pass. so little shit decided not to come to fyi.

at first he wasn’t as b.a. as he thought. so he would go to other people’s fyi group. to this my collogues would say “little shit, why are you here? this is not your group. you must go find jackie.” to this little shit would reply “but i don’t know where she is.” so i would send e-mails that told little shit how to find us, as it too, was not a hard thing to do. classes would come and go but little shit was no where to be found. i would see him on campus and say “little shit, why weren’t you in class today? did you not remember where the room was? did you not know that it was tuesday/thursday?” to this little shit would respond “oh man…i’m sorry. i did forget all about it. i wondered why i couldn’t get a hold of any of my friends.” or he would say “i was having a really bad day and couldn’t come”…or “i just don’t understand fyi and why it’s needed"…"i only need to do 65% for an a, so that’s what i’m going to do” (i could even understand this one as i warned my boss freshman would do). to all of these excuses i said “little shit, let’s have lunch and talk about this attitude you have”. little shit stood me up for lunch that day. that day, i went into the cafeteria and found him and said in my grown-up baby-sitter voice “little shit, you had plans to eat with me. it rude to stand someone up for a meal. now i am sorry, but we need to talk about you and fyi. i will be sitting at that table. when you are done with your conversation i expect that you will be honest to your word and come and join me!” and he did.

now little shit is a very good story teller and he is well versed in the tricks of houghton for someone so new. he told me many tales of “adjustment” and how “jesus gave him an epiphany” and how “he wasn’t coming back to houghton so he didn’t need fyi” and how “he will do better and be there next week.” what little shit did not know, is that i was smart. i knew the tricks and the speeches, i had made them myself. so i chose my words carefully and said “little shit, i understand. college is hard and starting is a lot at once. however, your attitude is not acceptable and it needs to change. your profs can see it, i can see it and your peers can see it. what is done is done and i cannot undo that. as you have pointed out you can still pass fyi. be careful only doing 65% because if you miscalculate i will not find extra points to make it up for you. come to service day or write the paper, that will help and start coming and participating in lectures.”…the next day little shit did not come to lecture.

little shit did not show for another week. when he came the other students actually clapped. he sat in the back, one row further than i asked him too, he spoke but only about pulp fiction, and he said he would come to service day, which he did not do. he then didn't turn in the service day paper. he did not, could not sit in his assigned seat (and i was nice and gave him full credit anyways, because i'm not that mean).. and he would go to the house of my second best college friend emma (she lives with lots of people and he was visiting someone else) and would talk crap about moi!

i have now had enough of little shit. finally the day came where grades were do. little shit earned 58% of the points needed. little shit did not pass fyi. little shit tried to e-mail me a one page paper about service a month late. i told him i could not accept this and that i could not give extra points for credit not earned. little shit asked in front of all his friends if he passed and i told him he did not. little shit got mad and wrote an email....

"Hello,
I am writing because I have heard from Jackie that as it stands right now I am not going to pass FYI. I know I started off the semester not very put together and as a consequence of that my attendance and her opinion of me has suffered.
At one point when I realized I needed to make changes and get my act together I asked Jackie if I could still pass the class if I attended all the classes and wrote the final paper and she said yes but that I had many strikes against me and she wasn't at all impressed with me.
After that I shaped up but missed one class after which I emailed Jackie, apologized, and wrote my service day paper in hopes that I could get half credit or something that could make up for that absence. She replied saying that she couldn't take it as it was too late and couldn't be counted for an attendance which I understand.
If there is anything I can do now to make up for my absence please let me know, I would be willing to write a paper highlighting things I have learned in FYI and how I have applied them to my education here or any other topic you wish.
I know that I have made mistakes in this class but I have been active in the discussions and have sought to learn and have, especially in the lectures that Prof. Stegan has attended and spoke at.
I have attached my service day paper and This I Believe paper in case you wanted to look at it, thank you very much for your time.
-little shit"

now this have been a very long blog but it is needed because i now have to give little shit more of my time that i do not have (and blogging this has been my study break/stress-reliever). i have to meet and discuss all of this again with my boss. i do not have an extra minute/hour/day to give to him. i do not think he should pass. i do not believe that he has learned. i do not believe that he is sorry. i gave him many an chance. he lied. i do not think it would be grace to let him pass fyi and i do not think it is fair to the other fyi-ers who have worked hard.